We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
FUCK WHALES
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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