Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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