in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
