this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
