Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You took a bar mat shot.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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