I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
