It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
