This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
