Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
