So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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