You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
