How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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