I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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