Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
