Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
