What a fucking waste of an outfit
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
