Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
