Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
