I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
