I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
