Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Randomize
