I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
