she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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