"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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