ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
