Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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