How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
In America we eat man semen.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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