this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
