well you can't waste a boner
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My ass is underappreciated
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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