Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
