this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
