My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
