I am puke
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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