Your tits are I can't wait for
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
