this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
