I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
That accounts for only three of the penises
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
