My hair reeks of homosexuality.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
