they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
