i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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