you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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