Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
