I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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