Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
