Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
