Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
