I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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