my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
