Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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