did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
