my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
